they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
