I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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