i don't like sucking hair
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
