Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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