yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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