Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
