so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize