I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
third nipple confirmed
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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