I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize