You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
His hands were made for my vagina.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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