he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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