The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
My life is pants optional.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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