like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize