a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Jerry, you need to find god
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize