man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
