carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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