woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
