We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
