How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize