You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize