quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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