The maid of honor just puked.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
