so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
