Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
