ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
