yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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