Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
try to milk me bitch
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