Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
