you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
