yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
