Rock
Scissors
Fuck
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
