I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
