im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
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Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
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I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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