how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize