thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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