Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
