I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
