super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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