At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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