if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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