Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
