I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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