My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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