I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
