get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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