I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Well I just put wine in my tea
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
