Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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