it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
