He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Alive.
So much puke
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
