I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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