yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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