I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
