their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I don't deserve a penis
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
