Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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