would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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