I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
so much tequila, so little girl.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
