But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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