I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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