I'm jealous of your bromance
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize