careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
