Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
