Just mADE A PArabola og urine
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
