We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
