maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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