Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
