I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
