i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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