Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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