I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
