i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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